When Words Fail :: Sighing is Enough

Recently I find myself enduring times when I feel like words are not enough, when words quite literally fail me. Now for me this is truly an unsettling experience. A little explanation as to why; I love words! To the extreme that I feel a thesaurus is a waste of time. Words should have meaning, a unique characteristic that gives them their worth. Though a word may be similar to another word it's not - A right word used correctly is powerful!

Part of this philosophy is born out of a civics lesson in middle school, where the teacher did an inspired job of explaining the power of the Words in the U.S. Constitution. How the framers of a fledgling nation labored over finding the words that would give birth to a country. The other reason why I have such an affinity for words is as a result of my studies into the Bible.

The more I read the Bible the more impressed I am at how the words in it inspire and motivate, how they bring comfort and peace. The intentionality of the words is brilliant and conveys truths about the nature, the very attributes of God! Those examples have challenged me to be just as deliberate in my speech and writings, to be aware of what I want to say and to say it with the greatest efficacy.

But recently my words, my words have failed me. I have been experiencing Life and God in ways that have left me wanting to articulate emotions and thoughts but with no success. All I have been able to do is sigh; my mind yielding to the deepest recesses of my soul.

My recent predicament has led me to search for insight from the Bible and as a result, I've rediscovered the Psalms. In Psalms chapter 5 vs. 1 King David says, "Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing." I love the "words" part, but God also understands sighing?

King David also writes, "Let the sighing of the prisoner come before thee; according to the greatness of thy power preserve thou those that are appointed to die;" (Psalm 79:11 KJV). I wonder, are there moments, such as right before death, when life is so overwhelming that all that can be said is actually something not said.

In the Gospel of Mark, he recounts two instances of Jesus sighing. Both occurrences fill me with awe.  Jesus sighs right before opening the ear of a deaf man (Mark 7:34) and right before he speaks on not giving a generation a sign (Mark 8:11). Does he do it out of sadness or anger, longing or frustration? Or can it be that sighing, sighing is just the appropriate way to communicate a truth in your soul to God?

I think sometimes sighing can speak more than words, more than a song, more than a poem. Sighing gets God's attention! Now, when I sigh, it will get mine as well.

Narcolepsy with Cataplexy :: Crippling Joy

Today I heard an account of a man dealing with a very rare disease, not only rare but the trigger for this disease seems so unfair. Many may be familiar with Narcolepsy, this disease causes the body to go to sleep involuntary, one moment you are awake and going and the next moment you are out cold, your mind goes to sleep. Though rare there is an even rarer version of this disease, Narcolepsy with Cataplexy.

Narcolepsy with Cataplexy effects .02% of the population and causes the sufferer to not fall asleep in the mind but causes the body of the individual to go to sleep wile the mind is still awake. The sufferer will be walking or standing and will fall down, mind trying to command the body but to no effect. Now that might seem odd but the trigger just seems unkind: When this individual has excessive "Happy Thoughts" the body responds by shutting down!

Could you imagine, experiencing joy and having your body respond by shutting down. Thinking a happy thought and having that thought force you to the ground, could you imagine?

Would you force yourself to not think on "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable" (Philippians 4:8) so as not to be crippled?

Could you imagine standing at your wedding and upon seeing your wife to be, you fall after being overtaken by love. Or sitting at your children's play and not being able to stand and applaud because you are so proud of them. Or attending your high school reunion and being weakened by memories of time spent with your best friends. Could you imagine that?

During a worship service I had this thought about Narcolepsy with Cataplexy: Though trying and difficult to endure, thou upsetting and debilitating part of me thinks, what a gift to know what it is that brings me pure joy... To be crippled by joy! What a testimony to my bride and children, my friends and those who know me - that they truly bring happiness to me, that they not only bring joy but are my joy. That my falling before them is a testimony to my love and affection to them.

Now here's the question... Would thinking about God bring you to your knees, would your love for God sweep you off your feet?

DO, LOVE, WALK :: A Response to God

Recently I had a conversation with some friends about the “Nature of God” and this was my conclusion: The more I think about God and grow my relationship, the more of Him I understand and the less of Him I understand, and that is honestly brilliant. He is as close as my father yet as wondrous as GOD… Although He can be perceived as mysterious, His desire is to be known intimately by His children and this, this is His gift to his creation, that He freely shares His desire and plans and hopes for us all.

In Micah chapter 6 vs.: 6-7, the prophet lays out a serious of questions that perhaps you have asked of God, I know I have, “With what shall I come before the LORD, and bow myself before the High God? Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams, Ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?” Really, what can we give God and why does He allow us to worship Him? He does not request our worship to fulfill His ego and He does not require our offerings because he is lacking. God is complete and content within Himself. If I was to give God my firstborn, the ancients would call this “the gift of legacy”; it would not come close to matching the legacy of God!  So the obvious question is what can I do?

Micah in verse 8 lays outs God’s heart for us, “He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” DO, Love, Walk are all dynamic verbs, meaning that they are still at work, they have yet to find completion or end. The nature of the above statements makes us more concerned for the welfare of others and more dependent on God. In insuring justice and mercy for those who might not ever be aware of us or able to repay us, we are given a glimpse into the nature of our God. In walking humbly with our God we are allowed to grow an intimate relationship with our Father in Heaven.

The New Testament has a brilliant example of a dynamic verb; in John 3:16, the second half of the verse, it states, “…that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  God gives His son so that we, unworthy & undeserving, might believe and receive His gift and inherit His eternal legacy! We can do nothing within ourselves but when we understand His gift and receive it, worship and giving of all to Him becomes our natural response to this supernatural act. That I understand but I still don’t truly know why God does what He does. That is why I say, the more of Him I understand and the less of Him I understand, and that is truly brilliant.

     So on today why not ask God how you can; DO, LOVE & WALK and deiced to respond!

In The Light :: Driving with the lights on

     I love the open road, truly passionate about driving great distances across the vast expanses of this great country. The highways and by ways are like great comforters, friends who listen to your silence and allow you to just be. They are all ways  present, never ending and simple to understand, ready to receive me always.

     For as long as I’ve been driving I've enjoyed driving at night the length of Florida. I have brothers in Georgia and for me there is nothing more cathartic than the five hour drive. Though family in the car, they fall asleep, perhaps the greatest testament to trust in the care of another, me. As they gently slumber I am awake, both alone and accompanied, by them and by the road.

     I like Florida because on the turnpike there are moments when all one can see is what is right before them, all that the head lights allow you to see. No distractions or congestion, I think others do not drive at night because of this fact. Nothing to see but the black!

     There are stretches where one can look up into the mystery of the black and be reminded that God is surely an artist, composing in light and space. Masterful on a canvas that stretches further than one’s imagination and ready to give significance to the expanse.

• I am on the road and one with the road.

• I am consumed by the expanse and filled by it.

• I am with the dreaming and living a dream.

     Driving at night allows me to be in a moment but free from time. It is a gift that I truly treasure. I thought it would be an unequaled experience… until I drove the turnpike during the day. Recently I drove the length of Florida when the lights were on, and I learned that there are truths that are only understood when vision is allowed to be stretched by the presence of light that clothes a landscape, light that showers the horizon.

     I never noticed the pine forests at night, or the fantastic birds that patrol the sky. The river of grass that carpets the plains and the majesty of rolling hills. I never noticed how the sun would partner with the world to cast shadows that stretched and danced.  I never noticed how the warmth of the sun would cause the slumbering to smile.

     Driving with the lights on allowed me to come to this realization; wither at day or at night, it is the presence of light which makes the road I am on worth being on. Without light, the expanse is a void. 

In the light, the expanse is truly enjoyed.

Runners High :: In 3 Pics, The view is not enough.

     I so enjoy running the Rickenbacker Bridge on Saturday mornings. Since the beginning of this year, I've run it over 20 times. In truth I started as part of a New Year's resolution- loose weight and get healthy. What I did not expect was the transforming perspective running would give me.

     Each time I'm out... I have these moments of intense focus and sublime clarity. I now refer to them as gifts from God. These moments either help me understand something that has been happening in my life or as preparation for something about to happen.

Today was no different; Have you ever thought about your future?

     My run is 5 miles long and broken up into goals. From my car to the top of the W. Powell Bridge, from WP to the Miami Seaquarium (half way point) back to the top of the WP Bridge and off to my car. Today as I ran I had this thought; just because I can see my goals does not mean I have reached them. I could see the the bridge, but that wasn't good enough. 

     When I got to the top of the bridge, the view of the Miami sky line to my left, the bay to my right was amazing, in fact, distracting. In the distance, I could see the Seaquarium, but the view was not enough. My goal had yet to be reached, I was not done!

     I feel like sometimes we are so enamored by the view of the goal before us that we stop striving towards the goal... And that's a true shame. I believe God has a plan for us all! The prophet Jeremiah declared on behalf of God "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out-plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." (Jeremiah 29:11 MSG)

     I hear the cry of Paul the Apostle "...Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win."(1 Corinthians 9:24 MSG) or even better, in The book of Timothy "This is the only race worth running. I've run hard right to the finish, believed all the way." (2 Timothy 4:7 MSG)

We are on God's mind, if only we would keep Him on ours.